“If your party is anything like it was last year, I’ll be dancing on top of a bar with sunglasses on watching the sun rise over the desert with no pants on.”

That would be one of the best compliments I’ve ever gotten. Courtesy of dear, dear friend Jewel of Denial.

It’s in reference to a rather legendary room party I have come to host every year at the annual Burlesque Hall of Fame Pageant in Las Vegas. I’m part of the production team; it’s my favorite weekend of the entire year and it is NEXT WEEKEND!!

Burlesque Hall of Fame pageant on the Travel Channel!


GREAT feature about the Burlesque Hall of Fame pageant, the annual pageant in Las Vegas that I’m heavily involved in the production of.

Featuring main bud Luke Littell with color commentary; and also best galpal Joyce in the front of the crowd shot at 3:42. The intro lasts 1:15, then the BHOF part starts.

Countries and states I’ve been to

Countries and US states I’ve been to.


  • Canada and Mexico, of course
  • Spain and Portugal (1994)
  • Peru (12/85, 12/01, 12/03, 3/09)

Countries I haven’t visited but most want to: Iceland, China, Greece


Those in green are ones I’ve been to; the ones in red, I haven’t.

* Alabama * Alaska * Arizona * Arkansas * California * Colorado * Connecticut * Delaware * Florida * Georgia * Hawaii * Idaho * Illinois * Indiana * Iowa * Kansas * Kentucky * Louisiana * Maine * MarylandMassachusetts * Michigan * Minnesota * Mississippi * Missouri * Montana * Nebraska * Nevada * New Hampshire * New Jersey * New Mexico * New York * North Carolina * North Dakota * Ohio * Oklahoma * Oregon * Pennsylvania * Rhode Island * South Carolina * South Dakota * Tennessee * Texas * Utah * Vermont * Virginia * Washington * West Virginia * Wisconsin * Wyoming *

VLV t-shirt slogans.

VLV t-shirt slogans.



VLV t-shirt slogans.  This is what I’ve come up with after only a tiny bit of thought.  So by all means, please contribute to this list!  I can’t wait!

You win.  You are more rockabilly than I am.

Sorry, the cuffs on your jeans do not meet VLV requirements.

Whassamatta—too tough-guy to afford a wristband?

Trying not to look desperate

You are repulsive, but I’m drunk.

Trolling for skank

It’s okay, my car doesn’t run either

This is my car show dress.

My car is out of oil.  Can I wipe some off your hair?

Save the Orcabetties!

PBR:  still the one, since 2003

My other car is a Saturn

I chose this t-shirt because it matches my parasol


I buy stuff from your vintage shop to resell at my vintage shop


Confessions from a Starbucks. April 14, 2005.

I’m here at a Starbucks in NYC, using their wireless internet. (There are about 40 Starbucks in lower Manhattan… it makes it very easy for me to get online.) It’s a very large store– the largest one I’ve seen– there are about 50 tables’ worth of people sitting down engaged in various activities. In the past couple hours of sitting here working on the computer, here’s what I’ve seen inside this store:

  • one guy who locked himself in the bathroom and wouldn’t come out, resulting in a hilarious shouting match through the door between him and the management. He wasn’t even a homeless person– he was a nicely-dressed, paying customer.
  • One old guy in a leather motorcycle jacket, slowly blowing up several balloons for no obvious reason.
  • The proverbial “guy talking to himself.” I have a feeling that in Manhattan, this is a rather standard thing to see.
  • Just now, some man came in, followed by three young girls. He held a light-up plastic sword aloft. They all slowly conducted their own parade through the store, then left.

The other day on the subway, I saw a bumfight and a guy playing bagpipes.

Thank you, universe, for the puppet show you’ve given me here in New York!